Now that 2016 is drawing to a close, it is safe to say that mostly everything that took place this year was shitty. It seemed as if every other week a cultural iconoclast passed away: Leonard Cohen, David Bowie, Prince, Muhammad Ali, George Michael and at the time of writing, Carrie Fisher left us to join the Force. To make matters worse, we as an American people elected a man who resembles a Cheeto stuffed into a cheap suit whose greatest accomplishment is the ability to use his 5th grade vocabulary level to inspire hatred and fear. Needless to say, we’ve needed a lot of great herb to endure this year and while every other aspect of society seemed to disappoint us, cannabis did not. With all of the divisive rhetoric being said by leaders of populist movements around the world, the cannabis community continued to demonstrate unity with amazing collaborations such as the Exotikz line by Berner and Jungle Boys and the partnership between Wonderbrett and Sublime, both resulting in boutique strains such as the Exotikz Purple Punch phenos and Orange Dynamite Stick (Bubblegum x Frisco Cookies). In honor of (and with a sigh of relief) 2016’s passing, here, in no particular order, is a list of 16 strains we look forward to smoking more of in 2017.
Purple Punch might be too good-looking. Like, “this is so beautiful I don’t know if I can grind this” good-looking. A deep, rich purple color that borders on blue lays blanketed beneath a thick sheet of trichomes that come bursting forth from the flower as soon as it is touched. The flower itself has a sweet, grape candy smell that is as irresistible as the bud is beautiful. The taste is everything the smell hints at and more; think sweet, decadent grape notes grounded by a kushy earthiness. Purple Punch comes with its own set of therapeutic benefits that easily alleviates stress, eases muscle pain and soothes aches. Depending on your tolerance level, this strain may need to be strictly reserved for nighttime sessions only.
Nowadays, there are a lot of fly-by-in-the-night brands and strains that are hyped as being the next “this” or “that” but end up being here today and gone tomorrow. Zkittlez is not one of those brands; this strain is here to stay and it’s not playing. Neither is 3rd Gen Family Farms, Chris and Terp Hogz, the talented farmers who bring us Zkittlez and Roze (more on that later). Both strains are cultivated in the outdoor soil of Northern California and with an artisanal attention to detail that only few possess. Thanks to the already existing and delicious eponymous candy, Zkittlez comes with a lot of hype and high expectations, but for users hoping this flower tastes like the rainbow, know that this is the closest you’re going to get to smoking red and purple Skittles that have, because you’re a stoner, been coated in a light layer of OG Kush then put directly into whatever apparatus you’re smoking through. To add some pop to its sizzle (flavor), Zkittlez most certainly brings the thump. Its delicious taste can and will lead to binge toking and for the novice cheefer, will quickly sit you down.
Kushieland sounds like a theme park that needs to exist in 2017. Thankfully for us spoiled Southern California smokers, Kush Company has created a strain worthy of the name. By breeding Tangieland and their own Kush Co. OG, Kush Company created a strain that tastes like a bowl of tropical candy with both sweet and sour flavors; think oranges, lemons, cherries and grapes. Its effects are physical heaviness and an ocular sensation that puts your surroundings into sharp contrast. It is the perfect blend of active and tranquil, leading one to experience feelings of euphoria and wonder, much like being at an amusement park. We’ve found this at Greenwolf in the past, but whenever you can get your hands on this, do it.
Introducing the second strain on this list to come to us from the greenthumbs over at 3rd Gen Family Farms. Most outdoor-grown bags come with the disclaimer “This was grown outdoors” which tells the consumer, “Hey, it’s OK if I don’t look good.” But this Roze not only passes the nose and lung test, she is as beautiful as her namesake implies. Roze has a beautiful rose-like shade to its buds, buds that emit a bouquet of peach and grapefruit aromas with undertones of earthy fume. The taste is shockingly akin to actual Rose, even down to its effervescence, or for non-drinkers, can be compared to a grapefruit La Croix. This is another strain whose bright, citrus taste and smell could fool you into thinking it doesn’t have punch but don’t be a sucker. If not ready, Roze can initially be uncomfortably racy but once you’ve ascended into the clouds and begun to soar, produces an incredibly euphoric high that leaves you in a daydream set in outer space.
Lemon Fuel OG
For two people who no longer drink, we are making quite a few references to booze, but it’s also not our fault that Lemon Fuel OG tastes just like a Moscow Mule. It has a wonderfully bright and alluring nose with hints of grapefruit and lemon rind framed beneath notes of diesel that give it its alcoholic fuminess. The same citrus and diesel notes come through during inhalation, as well as some ginger coupled with an almost-astringent sourness. The effects of Lemon Fuel OG are best enjoyed slowly and in moderation if you’re not accustomed to high-grade cannabis. The high is centered in the eyes and, therefore, incredibly visual. It has a really strong head buzz that, in large doses, can be almost dizzying, thus another reason for the Moscow Mule comparison. And just like a good drunken night (before things start to go downhill), it produces waves of euphoria coupled with stimulating thought and conversation.
Banana OG is very kush-like in its bud structure and color; it boasts nice, deep green foliage that lies buried beneath all encompassing fields of trichomes. It’s flavor profile is that of candied banana sweetness combined with a rum spiciness that still manages to deliver a balanced dose of that OG funk. Its effect brings the hammer and while it won’t lead to mental grogginess, will leave you heavily sedated. Given those heavy indica effects, it’s best to relegate this delectable treat to a nighttime snack.
No clever naming was required for this strain for, with one whiff of the bud, smokers will know that it couldn’t be anything but Strawberry Banana. An insatiably alluring bouquet of freshly-picked strawberries and sticky sweet bananas collide for an irresistible taste and olfactory experience. Heavy body relaxation is coupled with a calming and pleasant “stoney” head effect that is great for relaxing, contemplation or creative endeavors.
The flowers that make Chemtrails, the love child of Chem ’91 x Northern Lights #5, are vibrantly green with thick orange hairs that glisten with thousands of sparkling trichomes. Chemtrails is a beautiful cross that produces amazing flowers and light, aromatic flavors that boast succulent fruit notes and custard-like creaminess. The effect is mentally and visually stimulating while also providing a pleasant and soothing heaviness to the body. Overall, Chemtrails is a beautiful and tasty strain bred by Tiger Trees that we look forward to having more of in 2017.
White Wookies #65
Imagine conical, sphere-like buds that are completely coated in sticky white trichome heads that emit aromas one would associate with a bakery and you’ve got White Wookies #65. White Wookies tastes like chocolate chip cookies that have been baked to perfection then coated in thick frosting (don’t ask why; just give in!). With pristine bud structure and trichome coverage, an ineffably delicious smell and taste, and a high that is pleasantly heavy, tranquil and euphoria, White Wookies checks all of our criteria for “must-try” strains. This gem was bred by the infinitely gifted and curious Cannarado.
Like everything on this list, Orange Apricot is a sheer joy to look at. Its light green, vibrant buds are cloaked in dark orange hairs that are covered in trichomes, making it a pleasure to photograph. Its aromatics bear an uncanny resemblance to candied oranges and apricots. The stone fruit brightness present in its aroma melds perfectly together with subtle earthy and woodsy notes that come through upon exhalation. The smoke produced by this strain is worth noting for its velvety smooth body and ability to bring the lung expansion, some of the many qualities that make Orange Apricot a pleasurable smoking experience. After engaging with this bad boy, you’ll find yourself submerged beneath tidal waves of euphoria and heavy relaxation. Get your daily serving of fruit right here.
Sour Candy is comprised of two delectable strains known the world over as Sour Diesel and Bubblegum. Both legendary in their own right, a love child of the two delivers a flavor and effect that is a must for any cannasseur. This strain produces tight, spherical pale green flowers that are coated in crystals and very much resemble Sour Diesel with a touch of chunkiness from the Bubblegum. It boasts a loud, citrus-sweet nose with lime candy notes that are accentuated with the aid of white sugar and gasoline. Sour Candy’s effect is very cerebral and day-dreamy, but its accompanying heaviness will keep your feet on the ground as your mind circles the skies. This is a great strain for easing anxiety, and being social and/or creative with. Remember: You’re never too old to indulge in some candy.
Everyone knows that growing grade A cannabis starts with grade A genetics and, thankfully, there are enough online seed banks out there to make grabbing hold of great genes an easy feat. However, while securing great genes may be easy, growing them is not and that is where expert cultivation and continued education come into play. The Village is an elite class of growers that consistently produce triple A cannabis with every harvest. Their Cherry AK-47 is a prime example of that. From what we know, Cherry AK-47 is the cherry-smelling and -tasting pheno of the legendary strain AK-47. When cultivated under the watchful, and clearly skilled, eye of The Village, Cherry AK-47 becomes, in our humble opinion, a quintessential sativa dominant hybrid that deserves a spot in its respective Hall of Fame. The flavor of these amazing flowers is that of Rainier cherries counterbalanced by some creamy and robust sandalwood notes. The sativa side of Cherry AK definitely keeps the mind going, but instead of making it racy relaxes it into a contemplative and observational state making it ideal for reading, writing or creative endeavors; its indica lineage promotes soothing physical relaxation. There isn’t anything this perfectly-balanced hybrid can’t do, whether you’re working on a technical paper, your next script, or just vegging out on the couch as your mind explores its hallways and rooms.
Wedding Cake is undoubtedly a strain you’ll hear about more in 2017. While pheno hunting through a batch of Triangle Mints bred by the talented Seed Junky Genetics, the Jungle Boys crew came across this particular pheno and, with patient input, decided to dub it Wedding Cake for its flavor. One of the first things that will jump out at you will be its impossibly sticky, pale green bulbous buds that resemble beautiful, tight Christmas trees. And let’s not forget that smell which is reminiscent of lemon cake and kush, something that needs to be experienced to be believed. Once you’ve broken up and smoked these delectable buds you’ll be able to taste the meyer lemon cakiness coupled with notes of pine and cedar wood. But don’t let appearance fool you–Wedding Cake is not for the faint of heart or the novice smoker. When we say it’s heavy, we mean HEAVY. Large doses of Wedding Cake will leave you in a food-like comatose, that is glued to the couch with your mouth hanging open. Wedding Cake will make you feel as if Obama was still president and we ain’t mad at that.
High Octane OG
If there is anything you should know about us, it is that we adore OGs so the fact that High Octane is the first OG on this list makes the strain very, very special to us. Here, we have an OG S1 cut called High Octane OG that was bred by Seed Junky and masterfully cultivated by the Jungle Boys. Given its smell and taste, High Octane could just as easily be called Pine Fuel OG. Upon first whiff, your olfactory glands are bombarded with that gassy pine scent that is distinctly OG; bright notes of grapefruit and lemon rind are also apparent to the nose but become even more prominent when smoked. The effect of High Octane OG has that characteristic come on that feels as if you’re in a rocket ship blasting to space. Once you’ve left the atmosphere, initial jitters congeal into a cement-like heaviness that leaves you coasting through the galaxy. This strain is great for relaxing with friends and loved ones, or working on something creative or expressive. High Octane helps ground you as your mind occasionally drifts in and out of blissful daydreams. Not all OGs are created equal; High Octane reminds us of that.
By name, Triangle Kush might be the most unassuming strain on this list but don’t let that fool you into thinking this girl isn’t special and worth your undivided attention. Triangle Kush is very likely the first, or one of the first, OG Kush strains to be introduced to the cannabis community. Named in honor of Florida’s three main cannabis hubs, Triangle Kush is reminiscent of the OG Kush that started the craze back in the ’90s. Whether it’s the exact same cut of the original or its sibling, Triangle Kush deserves its own spotlight away from its more-famous relative. These flowers reek of skunky earthiness with notes of garlic and fume. Triangle is physically flooring while also being, surprisingly, very mentally stimulating. Its effects are noticeably more psychoactive than related Kushes but, with that said, still brings the same physical sedation indicas are known for. If you can find some real Triangle Kush, you owe it to yourself to pick up and try this gem of cannabis history. In our experience, this strain lives up to and surpasses all of its hype.
Do Si Dos
With Do Si Dos, it was love at first sight. Dark green buds speckled with alluring lavender shades that lay tucked beneath glistening crystals is what you can expect to see when you open a jar of Do Si Dos (done right). Syrup-like sweetness and pungent earthiness come together to create an intoxicating aroma that will have you salivating in anticipation of smoking these buds. Once you’ve fired a jay of this bad boy up, you can expect to be bombarded with notes of molasses, ginger, black pepper and pine as rich smoke fills your lungs and exits your mouth, leaving behind a pleasantly spicy finish. In regards to effect, Do Si Dos brings a dizzying head high coupled with nice physical relaxation. This strain is very visual and is great for either relaxing, indulging in great conversation or both. In our opinion, Do Si Dos is one of the best existing cookie crosses.
While the future of 2017 is uncertain, one thing is clear: we’re going to be smoking these strains over and over again for years to come. Enjoy your New Years Eve celebration and stay lifted!